Monday, July 27, 2009

SO Impatient!

I'm using this space to rant for a minute, since I want to let off some steam, and nobody reads this thing anyway ;) If you are actually reading, this is mostly long and angsty, so feel free to skip it :P

Alex and I have been a couple for over 6 years. We've been friends for close to 12, and we've always known (ALWAYS) that we'd end up together. Before there were ever romantic feelings, we knew it. Don't know why, don't know how, but we did. Most of our friends knew it, too.

So why, after 12 years of knowing, after 6 years as a couple, is he being such a damn slacker about proposing? Aargh! I'm totally confident about his commitment, but I'm getting pretty damned impatient. What is he waiting for? We've discussed wedding plans. Hell, we've named our future kids. There's no question of me not saying yes. He knows this. It's not like engagement means we have to run out and get married tomorrow - with the length of time it takes to plan a wedding in Chicago, it'll be summer of 2011 before we manage a wedding. And since I hope to be teaching at the time, summer really is the ideal time for a wedding.

The longer it takes, the more frustrated I am. I've tried talking to him about it, but he's just stuck. The inertia has taken over, things are pretty good how they are, so why change? He wants the proposal to be perfect, the ring to be perfect, he's waiting for us to suddenly not be broke, lazy losers so we fit this strange ideal image, or something, and I do understand, and I've been very very patient. But it's TIME. The longer he waits, the worse it's gonna be when he does it. My reaction won't be "Squee! OMG! I'm getting married!!!!" It's gonna be "About fucking time!" Somehow, I don't think that fits into his picture of a perfect proposal.

Everywhere I look, people are getting engaged. Couples who have been together for a year, they're getting engaged. Women who I've seen go through four boyfriends in the few years I've known them are getting engaged. The women in my situation, who have been waiting for the stars to align or something, they're getting engaged. People I didn't even know were in relationships are getting engaged.

I was 20 when we started dating. I'm going to be 27 this year. Which means I'm going to be 28 or 29, if I'm lucky, when we get married. I've gone from barely out of my teens, to almost 30, and nothing has changed. No forward movement. I'm stagnating. And I've gotten to the point where, when people ask how long we've been together, there's a part of me that wants to lie through my teeth, and tell them a year. I feel like people look at me and think "poor girl. All that time, and she still thinks he's gonna propose one day...." I know it's not true, and I know none of my friends are actually thinking that, or anything like it, but I still feel like they are. It's embarassing. I feel like I'm being strung along, and when I bring it up to him, all I get is "be patient." Or maybe some cryptic reference to him having a plan. Well, guess what? It's been 6 years, and I've been pretty damn patient. I can't even make ultimatums, because it wouldn't work (he knows I'm not going anywhere), and because if it did, I'd feel like he agreed because I made him, not because he wanted to.

What a jerk. I don't know why I put up with this shit.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Mmmm.... Hashbrowns......

We've restarted the blog roll, so I'm going to pretend to blog again for awhile ;)

What's the farthest you have traveled for food? Did you fly across the country just so you could have the perfect bowl of clam chowder? Did you cross the state line just for a scoop of ice cream? What was it, how far did you travel, and was it worth it?

I have a good friend named Sonia, and she tends to be infectious - spend enough time with Sonia, and you start to see the world her way (I would like to warn my readers that extended Sonia exposure may lead to a weaker and weaker grasp of reality as Soniavision takes over). One of the most fascinating parts of seeing the world through Sonia's eyes is how much everything shrinks. Enjoyed that Jerry Cantrell show in Chicago? There's one in New Orleans in a couple weeks, it's just a short drive.....

I lived with Sonia for awhile in my late teens, and we did a lot of traveling. Most of our traveling had some purpose, but we also made a lot of really ridiculous trips. In many ways, they were the best ones. We drove from Chicago to Minneapolis to go to the Mall of America so we could visit Hot Topic. Seven hours to the largest mall in the country, and we visited one store. I did find a cool Rainbow Brite shirt. Luckily, there are now a number of Hot Topic stores in Chicago.

We drove to Long Grove, a distant suburb, for apple donuts (note to self - visit Long Grove this fall, now that you have a car!), and to Michigan three or four times for pancakes. But the longest we ever traveled for food was one bored New Years Eve night, when we decided we needed Waffle House, and we needed it NOW. Unfortunately, the closest Waffle House to Chicago is about 300 miles away. And Alex, who was also living with us at the time, had to work in the morning.

So, like the responsible adults we were, we managed to convince Alex to trust us, piled in the car, and headed to St. Louis. Not only was our breakfast delicious, but we made our waitress's day when we told her we drove in just for Waffle House. We raced back to the car, back to the city, and dropped Alex off at work with 13 minutes to spare.

I haven't had Waffle House in almost six years now (for the record, the one in Key Largo is not as good. Or maybe their grilled cheese just can't compete with their breakfasts). I wonder if Alex is up for a trip to St. Louis...

Monday, January 12, 2009


I'm obviously doing my full year's worth of blogging tonight...

I'm quite bored, it's 4am, I'm not sleepy yet, and I don't actually have to be awake at any particular time, and I know it excited me when people responded to my blogroll suggestion, so I'm going to make more of an effort to respond to the blogroll suggestions of other forumers.

And, on that note, here are the things I hope to accomplish in 2009, as suggested by the lovely Tabris:

1. Blog (yeah, right)
2. Get off my butt and get a substitute teacher #, so I can start working
3. Get an actual real teaching job in my own classroom
4. Not kill/maim/or traumatize for life any of my students ;)
5. Get a drivers license (which actually should be around #2 or 3)
6. Either convince Alex to get off his butt and propose, or just declare myself engaged ;)
7. Be more social, outside of my thriving internet life
8. Grow a new plant, perhaps a small vegetable?
9. Road trip! Down to Texas via New Orleans, and maybe a quick stroll to Mexico while we're there!
10. Make a quilt.

Obviously, I have high hopes and goals for this year!

How Martha came to live with us... (or, The Longest Blog Post Ever)

Why yes, faithful reader(s), I am, indeed, alive!

Our forum blogroll has slowed down quite a bit, but there was a recent topic I was planning to blog about for Christmas, until I realized I had no idea what my username and password were here, anymore. But, thanks to the miracles of modern technology, I'm back! Woohoo!

Sooooo... the topic dujour is holiday memories. Since I'm not too creative, I'm going to post about this year. But, it starts a couple years ago.

Alex is a gamer, and he also enjoys music. Thus, Guitar Hero and Rock Band obsessions were inevitable. He even managed to get me involved! The inevitable result of a Guitar Hero addiction is, of course, the desire for an actual real life guitar. So, for the past year or so, he's been talking about guitars. He's been researching guitars, reading about guitars, boring me with guitars, telling me what kind of guitars all his favorite artists use, and squealing like an excited schoolgirl when faced with replicas of Stevie Ray Vaughn's guitar at Guitar Center :P

So, when the holidays came along, of course, he asked for a guitar. He weighed the odds in his favor, actually, by asking for a guitar or a surround sound system, knowing, in some subconscious way, that I'm not going to out out and buy fancy shiny electronics that have been designed with the specific goal of deafening me.

Of course, being me, I couldn't let on that I'd even considered a guitar. After 5 Christmases together, you'd think he would have figured out that I always get him what he asks for... but, being Alex, it didn't take much effort to keep him guessing! A guitar is too expensive, we'd have to buy all these accessories, too, if he sucks at it, I'll have wasted the money, and if he's good at it, a beginner guitar will start to look pretty crappy pretty fast. (okay, and to be honest, I wasn't entirely convinced myself).

Then, one day, I got a phone call from a very good friend of mine, Leah. She knew that I was struggling internally about this guitar problem. She was also moving to Texas in a few weeks, and purging things from her house, which led to her offer of a beautiful guitar, definitely nicer than the beginner guitars in my budget, for the low low price of $50. Yay guitar! The guitar (an Ibanez Cimar, if anyone is curious) is probably older than I am, but still in excellent shape. Her name is Martha.

After picking up the guitar, I was faced with a real problem. See, when you buy a guitar at a store, it comes in a box. Martha, however, came home with a stand, and a lovely soft guitar shaped bag. Hmmm.... This presents a definite problem - how do I wrap her?

The obvious solution, of course, being to turn her into a demented wrapping paper snowman angel:


(That big box in the background - Guitar Hero World Tour, my Christmas present)

Christmas morning, Alex wakes up, wanders to the front room, and comes running back to the bedroom. "What the hell is that? That's my present? You have to get up now!" I, of course, was tired from staying up all night turning Martha into a demented wrapping paper snowman angel, but, knowing that I could never resist such a temptation, I decided to humor him (plus, you know, it was Christmas, and I wanted presents!).

First, he opened his stocking, filled with homemade Rockstar kit plus various other Christmas goodies, including but not limited to:

Three bread rolls and a can of Coke (don't ask, he's a strange strange boy)
One can of Rockstar Energy drink
One red bandanna
One package of temporary tattoos
One mysterious sealed envelope

I enjoy confusing him :D

Next, he headed over to Martha. I only wish I'd had my camera ready, to capture the look on his face when he decapitated the demented wrapping paper snowman angel to find a guitar headstock sticking out of its neck. I'm pleased to announce that he is madly in love with Martha, didn't return the amp I picked out (which for some reason isn't classified as a fancy shiny electronic that has been designed with the specific goal of deafening me), and finally understood why I gave him temporary tattoos and Rockstar energy drink.

We named the amp George, and we've all lived happily ever after, and he can play at least 3 chords now :D

Oh, you're curious about the mysterious sealed envelope? Nosy nosy! Well, every true rockstar needs a rider for his ridiculous demands, and you can't really expect him to sit down on Christmas day and do all that work!

Steel Ferrets (his Guitar Hero band - this was big and colorful and cool, with wordart)

Christmas Tour

RE: Steel Ferrets

Dear Purchaser: Attached is a rider containing provisions to assure you of a smooth and professional theatrical presentation. All provisions are spelled out in great detail in order to prevent any misunderstandings and to present to your customers the finest in contemporary entertainment.

Any immediate questions can be answered by calling Steel Ferrets Productions at (773) 555-5555.

All provisions must be adhered to strictly. Please feel free to contact us at any time should there be any questions.

Looking forward to a successful show.

RainhaDoTexugo/Tour Manager
Ex-Roomie/Production Manager
Sonia Otherfriend/Groupie Manager

------new page------


Purchaser agrees to provide and pay for five (5) comfortable and private dressing rooms for Producer’s sole use. These rooms shall be clean, dry, and well-lit. Heat or air-conditioning shall be provided to maintain a pleasant temperature. All rooms must have electrical outlets. All rooms MUST be in the same building as the concert hall and ACCESSIBLE TO THE STAGE WITHOUT PASSING THROUGH AUDIENCE AREA.

All dressing rooms must be connected to clean lavatories, which contain toilets, sinks and whirlpool tubs, and are supplied with toilet paper, fresh bottles of Bath and Body Works Black Currant Vanilla Body Wash, towels (must match the room’s color theme), and garbage cans. Additionally, Mr. Texugo requires an assistant to keep his lavatory clean at all times, including but not limited to replenishing the toilet bowl with fresh flower petals after each flush.

Dressing rooms must be available by 12:00 noon on the date of the show, and must be large enough for the following uses and furnished as described:

1. Band Hospitality Room: Large size, where all required band refreshments should be placed, containing one (1) sofa, six (6) comfortable chairs, two (2) full-length mirrors, two (2) 6’x3’ (six foot by three foot) tables, and private lavatory. Band hospitality room must be painted blue, or draped with blue fabric.

2. Band Room: Large size, with electrical outlets, two (2) sofas, six (6) comfortable chairs, one (1) 6’x3’ (six foot by three foot) table, and private lavatory. Band room walls must be painted purple, or draped with purple fabric.

3. Tuning Room: Medium size, containing one (1) 6’x3’ (six foot by three foot) table, four (4) chairs, electrical outlets, and private lavatory. This room must be the same temperature as the stage area, within 5 degrees F. Tuning room walls must be painted green, or draped with green fabric.

4. Changing Room: Medium size, well lit, with two (2) full-length mirrors, one (1) twin sized or greater bed for Martha (Mr. Texugo’s guitar), and private lavatory. Changing room walls must be painted yellow, or draped with yellow fabric.

5. Crew Room: Large, team-size, of comfortable temperature, with electrical outlets, tables and chairs, and private lavatory. Refreshments for Producer’s crew will be served here throughout the day. Crew room must be painted puce, or draped with puce fabric.

-------new page------


Purchaser shall be provided in the Band Hospitality Room one (1) hour prior to show time, unless otherwise specified, the following refreshments and supplies. When not specified, quantities should be sufficient for four (4) people.

Cold Drinks (on ice)

One (1) case Guinness beer (bottles – Absolutely NO Rocket Wickets!)
One (1) large bottle Bailey’s
Six (6) glass pint glasses
Four (4) cases Cherry Coke Zero
One (1) case Coke Classic
Six (6) bottles XXX Vitamin Water
Three (3) gallons Fiji bottled water


Various crackers, foods, and aged sheeps milk cheese
Palermo’s Pizza, delivered fresh – sausage, onion, mushroom, green pepper
Red Skittles – absolutely no other colors!
Supplies for making beef tacos, as well as a personal chef to prepare said tacos
A selection of ice creams, including peanut butter cup
Beer can chicken
One (1) lb fine dark chocolate, at least 90%
Fat Free deep dish pepperoni pizza
One (1) case Goobers Candy

------new page-----


Mr. Texugo requires that there be a basket of puppies available backstage at every concert. After the show, the Purchaser is responsible for finding said puppies a safe and secure home.

Under no circumstances are venue employees to make eye contact with Mr. Texugo.

One experienced food tester must be available at all times, to prevent food tampering or inferior replacement foods.

One (1) 60” (sixty inch) plasma television, with Wii, Xbox 360, Playstation 3, and Atari, with a variety of popular games.

Each band room should have at least one (1) guitar pick polishing machine.

Dressing rooms must be decorated for any current holidays, including but not limited to Christmas, New Years, Grandparents’ day, Talk Like a Pirate Day, St. Patrick’s Day, and the Lithuanian Independence Day.

Mt. Texugo’s dressing room must be kept continually stocked with six (6) four-gallon tanks, each containing 16 sea monkeys. The artist also requires a varied selection of petrified wood and dark blue candles.

Finally, Mr. Texugo CAN NOT PERFORM the Christmas tour without a minimum of 12 drummers drumming, 11 pipers piping, 10 lords a-leaping, 9 leprous leopards, 8 maids a-milking, 7 swans a-swimming, 6 geese a-laying, 5 golden rings, 4 calling birds, 3 French hens, 2 turtledoves, and a partridge in a pear tree available at ALL times!

Failure to fulfill the terms of this rider will be considered breach of contract, and the Purchaser will be fined accordingly, no less than $5000.